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The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our friendship has transformed into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being filmed, edited, or posted for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of casual, DIY film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: an opening. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes material genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal videographer, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip now and then would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I would never intentionally humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our shared experiences.

I cherish Beth’s friendship profoundly and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about power, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for real connection: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. With the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life online, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their friendship?